• first day of school: 30 pencils, 64 crayons, 20 pens, 12 rulers, 10 notebooks.
  • end of school year: 1 pencil you found in the hallway.

“I swear to god, Steve, I will drop the PASIV out of this fucking window if you don’t tell me RIGHT NOW why you thought taking this goddamn job was a good idea, what with Bucky running around our heads trying to shoot us out of our dreams.”

“Can’t you feel it, Clint? You’re antsy. We’re all antsy. We’ve been the best dreamshare team there is out there since Cobb’s disbanded, and we haven’t gone under in over a year.”

Avengers Inception AU  wherein Thor of Odin Corp. hires Steve Rogers’ elite dreamsharing team to perform inception on his brother, Loki, and a shade of their ex-resident thief Bucky (who was killed when the team’s last job went horribly wrong) tries his best to sabotage it.

Or: Steve extracts, Tony builds, Clint runs point, Natasha’s a master of impersonation, Bruce concocts, Thor’s a tourist, and things happen

(Source: -andrews)

  • me: OMG CONCERT TICKETS
  • concert tickets: way too expensive
  • concert tickets: too far away
  • concert tickets: you're visiting your grandparents in narnia that date
  • concert tickets: 18-year limit
  • me: but
  • concert tickets: No.
  • mom: you realize normal people don't have such strong feelings about the oxford comma
  • me: THE OXFORD COMMA IS IMPORTANT
  • mom: you realize this makes you a nerd
  • me:
  • mom:
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush and barack obama
  • me: i had a party with the strippers, george bush, and barack obama
  • me: without the comma, you are implying that george bush and barack obama are strippers
  • mom:
  • me:
  • mom: this isn't normal